Was I Leaving Little for Nothing?

Leslie E. Paul, Seattle, Washington

"I stepped off the porch and turned right. My eyes searched for the one-armed railroad dick, who’d threatened to arrest me the next time I trespassed on railroad property. I was relieved when I didn’t see him.

"I stepped from tie to tie, past the cinder pit and around the turntable. High school had been out a week, but I recognized a string of boxcars that had been there for days. I walked past the last boxcar, one hundred yards on to a pile of switch ties that stood parallel to the tracks. Each day for two weeks, going to school and coming home, I’d wondered what was in the bundle lying on the pile.

"I picked it up and unfolded it. It was a blanket sewn together to make a sleeping bag. A hobo had dropped it there.

"I knew then what I must do. It was the Depression; there was no work. I was a burden to Mother and Gus, my step-father. I took the blanket and hurried home. I said nothing to Mother then, only that I was going down to Scott’s to get a flat fifty box of cigarettes. Ordinarily I was reluctant to add to the delinquent account; today I found abundant courage. Besides the tin of cigarettes, I asked for two sacks of Golden Grain. ‘Charge it,’ I said. Scott looked taken aback but said nothing.

"I returned home and told Mother I was leaving. She didn’t fight it, but she was sad. Mother owned no suitcase or tote. All she had was a black satin bag, the size of a pillow case. I jammed my new sleeping bag inside it, three or four pairs of socks, shorts, an old sweater, the cigarettes and sacks of Golden Grain.

"Mother made two sandwiches. She went to her purse and gave me all the money she had: 72 cents.

"I gave Mother a big kiss and a long, tight hug. She said nothing, but the tears streamed down her face. I turned and left, the black satin bag over my shoulder. Had I been brave enough, I would’ve been coward enough to go back.

"I stopped at the roundhouse and found Gus working on one of the engines. Gus hadn’t really been a father, but I owed him a lot. I had a roof over my head and there was always something to eat. I shook his hand and said goodbye.

"The freight yard was a terminal for trains going to Canada. My best bet was to go to Carleton, 19 miles away. The easiest way to get there was to walk.

"I crossed the tracks, climbed the fence and started up the hill to the highway. I turned around at the top. The tears came then, and one sob. The second one I swallowed. Every boy becomes a man, some younger, some older. I was eighteen and one week. Was I leaving little for nothing?"

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